I have always been a really intentional gift giver. Not in a I-spent-a-lot-of-money way. In a I-paid-attention way.
I’m not going to grab a pre-assembled mug basket off the shelf at Walmart during Christmas season and call it a day. I’m going to find the specific mug that looks like it belongs to that person. I’m going to fill it with things I know they actually enjoy. When I got married at Mount Shasta, I didn’t bring back a keychain or a magnet. I brought back a lava rock and a crystal found on the mountain for my daughter who collects rocks & gemstones and has always been obsessed with them. She’s never going to be able to buy that for herself. But I knew she’d love it the second she saw it because I’d been paying attention.
I didn’t connect that instinct to floral design right away. But eventually I realized they’re the exact same thing.
A wedding design is a gift. It’s going to be photographed and blown up and hung on a gallery wall in someone’s home for the rest of their lives. The flowers, the atmosphere, the whole feeling of that room, it should look like it belongs to them. Not like something they pulled off a shelf.
The Pinterest board problem
Almost every client comes in with a Pinterest board. And I love that they do. It gives me something to work with, a starting point, a window into what they’re drawn to. But here’s the thing about Pinterest boards: they show you what someone thinks they want, which is not always the same as what they actually want.
A lot of boards are all over the place. Wildly different styles, completely different color palettes, a garden wedding next to a minimalist editorial next to something tropical and colorful. And that’s not a problem. That’s actually useful information. It tells me they haven’t landed yet, which means there’s room to really dig in.
When I see a board like that I don’t try to merge everything into one design. I ask questions. Which three of these feel most like you? Is it the colors you’re responding to or the style of the arrangements? If I changed the color palette on this one would you still love it? A lot of the time someone will show me a photo and say this is exactly what I want, and when I ask what they love about it they’ll say the flowers, not the colors. Which means the colors are totally open. That one conversation changes everything.
And sometimes the board is telling me something the client hasn’t said out loud yet.
The bride who wasn’t a tropical girlie
I had a client come to me who said she wanted a tropical, colorful, sunset-inspired wedding. She was excited about it. She had it pretty set in her mind. So I made her a mood board for it.
She looked at it and said she didn’t like it.
I wasn’t surprised. Because I had already looked at her Instagram before that call, and honestly the first three photos told me everything I needed to know. She wasn’t a tropical sunset person. She was someone who wore moody, rich colors. Deep tones. She had crystals on her shelves and ivy garlands draped over tapestries. There was something a little witchy, a little forest fairy, a little eccentric and intentional about who she was. Her whole world had this dark, lush, mystical quality to it.
So alongside the tropical mood board I had made her a second one. The one I actually thought was her. Moody plums and burgundies and deep wine tones. Rich, dark greens. Textures that felt like something growing in low light.
When she saw it she said “holy shit, that’s me. That’s exactly what I want. I didn’t even know that’s what I wanted.”
That’s the moment I live for.
We ended up designing moss mounds on the tables with flowers growing out of them like they were coming up from the forest floor. Little mushrooms tucked into the greenery. And because I knew who she was, I wove quartz crystals into the moss throughout the tablescapes. Her guests kept stopping to look at the tables. Not just because they were beautiful but because they felt like her. Like something that belonged specifically to that person in that space on that day.
Her guests came up to me during the event and said they could feel the energy coming off of it.
That’s not something you get from a catalog.
What I’m actually doing when I ask you about your life
When I get on a first call with a couple I’m not asking about flowers right away. I’m asking about who they are.
What do you wear? Not what are your wedding colors, what do you actually wear on a Tuesday. What experiences have you had together that felt like you at your best? What does your home look like? What are your people like, are they loud and dancing all night or are they the kind of crowd that lingers over conversation? What drew you to your venue specifically, and what do you love about it?
I’m listening for the person underneath the wedding planning. Because the wedding planning version of someone is often performing a little, pulling from what they’ve seen on Instagram, trying to figure out what they’re supposed to want. The actual person is in the details they mention casually. The way they describe their house. The trip they keep bringing up. The colors they gravitate toward without thinking about it.
And then I go look at their Instagram. Not to be creepy. To see them in their natural habitat before the consultation filters kick in. You can tell a lot about a person from their first nine photos. The colors they wear, the spaces they occupy, the aesthetic they’re drawn to when they’re just living their life. That’s the person I’m designing for.
Designing for someone is just intentional gifting at a larger scale. I’m paying attention. I’m looking for the things they want but haven’t asked for yet. I’m building something they’re going to see in their wedding photos for the rest of their life and feel like yes, that was exactly us.
That is the whole job.
What this means if you’re thinking about hiring a floral designer
If you come to me with a Pinterest board that doesn’t fully make sense yet, that’s fine. We’ll figure it out together.
If you come to me and say just do whatever you think is right, I will absolutely take that and run with it. That’s actually my favorite brief.
If you come to me with a very clear vision that you’re confident in, I’ll execute that vision and make it better than you imagined.
What I need from you more than anything isn’t a color palette or a style reference. It’s honesty about who you are. Tell me about your house. Tell me what you wore to the last event you felt really good at. Tell me what your people are like. Tell me the story of how you two ended up together.
I’ll take it from there.
Every couple I’ve worked with has a design that belongs to them and only them. If you want that for your wedding, let’s start with a conversation.
Want to work together? Let’s connect.
Want to see more of the pretty things? Follow me on the gram!
Leave a Reply